WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
this hospital has no fireball
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
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