my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
