So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
