Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Randomize
