Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
