I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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