Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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