Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
