I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
