He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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