i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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