I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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