he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I've blown a few things in my day
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
