barbara walters just said penis...
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize