I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
