I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
