At least make sure they are 18
Why
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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