Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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