Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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