im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
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