Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Randomize
