dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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