get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
