how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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