i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Randomize
