maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize