...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
