I heard we made out
Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize
