i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Houston, we have a squirter
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
