We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I need a beard to bite.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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