He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
