I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
