yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
