oh god the rape fog is back!
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
