Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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