Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
