just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
