We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
