So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
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