Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
