he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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