8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
