Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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