Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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