So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
