either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize