roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
