omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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