I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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