Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
