everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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