Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
