oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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