I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
