writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize