Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
