glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
