New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
