it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
