I've blown a few things in my day
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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