yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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