Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize