Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
why is half of my head shaved?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
