Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
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