he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
