I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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