I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
