hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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